The "First Marriage"

Divorce is a common thing in the world today. Many reasons why divorce may occur is because the couple has communication problems, financial problems, boredom with the marriage, or they are falling in love with someone else. These are very serious and can break a family apart. When a couple chooses to divorce, it has been discovered that within 2 years, 70% of American men are remarried. However, many children do not like the idea of remarriage because the new parent may never live up to their expectations or may never compare to their previous parent. This is especially true when a parent remarries after their spouse passes away.

Brother Williams, my professor, said, "When spouses and parents die, they are put on a pedestal, and it's definitely harder to find and accept someone to take their place."

When parents remarry, the new spouse is often viewed as a good aunt or uncle. Aunts and uncles are fun, supportive, and (usually) not controlling--they do not discipline their nieces and nephews unless they have to. Brother Williams said "Only parents should give the heavy discipline". As I thought about why this was important, I came to the conclusion that if the step-parent gives the discipline, it gives the children a reason to resent their new parent. However, when their biological parent gives discipline, that is expected because they are their "true" parent.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks said, "Many people think of the first marriage as a 'starter marriage'; like a starter home--one you live in for a while until you move on". This is sad to think that some people go into marriage thinking that it will be their first marriage and they are not going to be in it forever. If people can think of marriage as the first and last time to find a companion, I would hope to see improvement in lasting marriages and see a decrease in divorce rates.